The real deal. (Inspired from a post I saw somewhere, adapted for this part of the world)
1 If you’re unable to take a shower, I understand. I’ve been there.
Dry shampoo is a Godsend. (Zo’Nanos does a fantastic version for dark hair.
It’s for PKR 750 including shipping.)
It makes your hair look fresh and clean giving you another few days.
Baby wipes are fantastic to take that top layer of grime off that pulls you down. Aleva Naturals PK have these great environment friendly ones. WaterWipes and the 99% Water ones from Pampers with the light brown pack are great to have in your grocery list.
2 Can’t wash your sheets or make the bed? (Or get out of bed?)
Push blankets out of the way and dust the bed off of crumbs and stuff if any. Just smooth out the sheets with your hands before pulling the blankets back on. It’ll feel cleaner.
3 Can’t change out of your dirty pajamas?
Use a linen spray. (I would use this linen spray that could double as a body spray from The Body Shop .) if you don’t have that, a spritz of Febreze or any spray deodorant would do. Also a lint roller. If you have one.
If you can brush your hair, do it. If not, finger comb them and use hair ties.
4 Can’t cook? Drink plenty of water (it comes premade) and order one. There’s ZERO shame in helping yourself. You do not have to cook because your mental health comes second because it does not. Like my dad says “Paet mein andhairaa hota hai” (It’s dark in your stomach.) I’m not a flag bearer of unhealthy eating regularly but find great substitutes. I know it’s difficult to find them in Pakistan but honestly there’s Cafeela in Karachi who make fantastic and clean food and Subway almost everywhere. foodpanda zindabad. Get a sandwich and a bag of crisps. You’re sorted.
5 Can’t bring yourself to responding to messages or respond to help? Keep a template of “I’m sorry I am in The middle of something important. Will revert to you as soon as I possibly can.” Just copy. Paste. Send. Really. It’s doable instead of having to think what to say which is a near impossible task at the time.
6 Can’t sleep because it’s that bad? See something laid back but enjoyable on Netflix. Nothing too loud or happening. Maybe even an animation or something from the kids section.
My depression partner years ago was Michael McIntyre. This clip was my ultimate favourite. Always cracked me up. Still does.
7 Can’t go for a walk or a drive? Try opening the curtains. (There’s nothing I hate more, even when I’m not depressed but it ALWAYS helped in retrospect). Or even just play FarmVille or Temple run. So what if it’s just virtual. You planted a bleddy farm! Hells yeah. Back in my days even Tetris was a BIG help. That was my poison.
8 Can’t make it to school/ work/ commitments? Always ALWAYS inform coworkers, class fellows or whoever you have a commitment with that you’re busy with something important but inevitable. You’ll be back in a few days.
Meanwhile have someone email you the work or studies you need to catch up with later. Have templates ready for these in your phone notes. All the time.
I haven’t used mine in years but I still keep them.
9 Can’t brush your teeth or wash your face?
Gum or Mouthwash. Godsend. Listerine FTW.
For face. Again makeup or baby wipes.
10 If you have a bathtub, soak. With a good book. Just think it’s your proxy bed and sit in there. I promise nothing helps more than a good soak in the bath. All these movies don’t show wine and a bathtub as the ultimate unwind. It IS the ultimate unwind.
11 Too many people reaching out to help when you don’t want to talk to anyone? Again. Have a template for that, if they don’t understand something on the lines of “I’ll get back to you as soon as I can but not now” you can screen their calls guilt free. Respect is a two-way street.
12 Give yourself a few days. Like mark on the calendar. Even if mentally, to get up and do something. It doesn’t have to be huge. It could be just a walk around the house or down your lane. It could be one of the things in the list up here. If you’re feeling strong it could even be meeting someone. And hold yourself to it. Keep it a couple of days away so you can look forward to it and perhaps muster up the strength to go ahead with it.
13 Write. If it helps you. Gibberish if need be. In this world of running after limelight and the need to “publish” everything, make a small folder on your desktop or even just a note in your phone and just write whatever comes to mind. With no intention of anyone ever seeing it.
14 Freshen yourself up using any of the techniques mentioned above and consciously sleep. I say this because through depression there’s sometimes unintentional sleep that kicks in to keep you away from life. Or sometimes there are (continuous) episodes of sleeplessness. Either of the two are not intentionally driven by you.
Intentional sleep will make you feel a little more in control of yourself than you currently are.
15 Remember the following.
All of it or whatever applies to you. Because I know at least one does.
- you’ve been here before and you’ve pushed through it. You can do it again. As huge as it seems right now, you are the boss of it. Not the other way round.
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If any of these points resonate with you it means you’re not alone. You’re NEVER alone. So many of us have been where you are or have had people in their lives who have gone through a severe depressive mode. You, my friend have a tribe out here. We all work together to step out of the funk. This is my Little way to help.
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If you know someone who’s fallen off the grid, share this list with them. You might get a hysterical call or a hissy fit or no response at all but they’ll use it whenever they need it and that’s what matters not your ego.
When you’re out of your funk, share this list with someone else or make your own.
We all are destined to come out the other end. Stay there for as long as you need to but then come back to life. It may seem ridiculous and meaningless when in the throes of depression but it’s true. I promise.
Mazaa naa aaye tau paisay vaapas.
Love love
