For as long as I can remember, my childhood Ramzan would have a regular feature (amongst twenty million others).
The Feerni (Rice Pudding) Sehri in the last Ashra.
I remember it like yesterday.
There would be this set of crystal bowls with cut work in their base (gorgeous) that were perhaps either form my Nani’s wedding / dowry or shortly after. All I know is they were older than my mom!
All year round they would be nicely stacked away in the dinner wagon (yes, I’m old school with my terms) but this one night they would step out of hibernation, and laid out on the dinner table.
One of the nights, usually one through the last Ashra (ten days) of Ramzan, we would all crash at Ammi’s place for the night. Would show up after Iftar and then sleep over.
At Sehri I remember waking up to a different colour of light.
The regular tube light would hardly ever be switched on for Sehri. It would always be the warm light bulb in the light fixture just above the deep freezer that would end up lighting the entire living room. I would usually be sleeping in my aunt’s room and preferred the bulb over the tube light since the tube light was bang opposite the room I was in so it would come straight at me. The bulb was to a side so only diffused light reached me.
Just realised, there was never a concept of closing the room’s door. Like ever. How awful for privacy! Don’t know how my aunts managed this one but it’s only now that I realised that we never shut the bedroom door to my aunt’s bedroom. Nor my nana’s bedroom. The entire house was pretty open plan so to speak.
Reeling back, as we would enter the dining room, the table would be chock a block with those gorgeous crystal dessert bowls with individual servings of feerni set separately in each one of those, covered with a net dupatta, with diamantés glistening under that yellow light bulb that somehow least made me sob. There was something t very sad.
There is nothing I hold more precious than the memory of having Feerni for Sehri on a non Taaq raat in the Ashra of forgiveness in Ramzan. If only gluttony could be prevented, or forgiven!
This year, while we are away from our loved ones, out of love and care for each other, to protect against the COVID 19 pandemic, I ended up making my own Feerni.
After the resounding success of Qivaami Sivayen last year I realised, the smell I associate with Ammi was that of … KEWRA! Mixed with Ilaichi but yes. Strong hit of kewra will Ammi-fy any khaana.
So this year, as I complete my Kalaam Pak and the corresponding sessions of excerpts on my Instagram, After a night of ugly crying on the Jaaé namaz (prayer mat) I close my eyes and sink back a little in my chair as I take a spoonful of fragrant rice pudding, the Pakistani way, teleporting myself to times where my Nani’s dupatta smelling like an embrace covers my face.
I can see a Motia dangling from her ear and her velvety hand with the wrinkles of a lifetime that hold within them all the love she collected, patting my head softly.
Ramzaan is nearly gone and that’s half the heartache right there. Here’s wishing we stick around long enough for next year.
Ammi’s Feerni or the Time Machine
Ingredients
1/4 cup rice (Basmati preferably)
1/2 cup granulated sugar (I’m my Nani’s child so I use 3/4 cup but you do you)
2 Green Cardamom
1 litre full fat milk
A few drops of Kewra essence or a teaspoonful first Kewra water (You can also replace it with Rose Water or Saffron in water. I like Kewra because that’s my jam)
Almond flakes or Pistachio (optional)
Method
- Soak the rice for at least an hour or so. I leave it overnight.
- Next morning. Put the entire litre of milk with the cardamoms in a wide, preferably heavy based pot on the stove and allow it to come to a boil.
- Meanwhile drain the soaked rice and add it to a blender with around 2-4 tablespoons of water. Blend it to make a slurry.
- Once the milk comes to a boil, lower the heat to a simmer and add the rice mixture / slurry slowly while you continuously keep mixing.
- Once it is all incorporated, keep mixing it till the liquid thickens. Takes me around 10-12 minutes.
- Now add the sugar and the mixture will get a little runny again. Keep cooking it.
- Cardinal rule: never stop stirring, this can go to wall paper glue in a cinch.
- Another 5-10 minutes and once the mixture is a ribbon -ish consistency, take it off heat and add the Kewra. Mix it in and cover the pot for the fragrance to infuse.
- After 2 minutes either transfer to your large bowl or single serve dessert bowls.
- Dry roast your almond flakes in a pan and garnish. Or chop Pistachios in flakes (Havaaiyaan) and too each bowl.
