This is not a review. It’s a walk down memory lane and my relationship with the armed forces across the years.
I don’t even remember what was the last Pakistani drama serial that I watched and wish to confess I watched. Perhaps Zebunnisa by Sahira Kazmi. That was perhaps before many of you here were even out of your own diapers.
ISPR plays have a special place in my heart though I feel terribly hypocritical saying this today. What can I say. Old habits die hard or perhaps the deep set love and glorification takes longer than 4 decades to wash out. Perhaps I need more time for Jade.
I have recently started watching Sinf E Ahan. Though a nice story line and a gorgeous sound track (I prefer Aasim Azhar’s over Zeb) barring incorrect Urdu, the execution is so cringe I want to cry. PLEASE HAVE better actors. It’s not Hollywood that you cast Julia Roberts and the rest of the cast can be all aspiring or unwilling actors. This is television. This is the army. We need life. Not flat dialogue delivery.
Something in my heart silently wishes it to be real but we all know propaganda packages well.
I come from a family where the only two career tracks acceptable for boys was police or the armed forces. Where my father’s generation broke that trend albeit unwillingly, the ingrained radical patriotism never left the building.
I grew up aggressively patriotic, bawling through every song from the 1965 war, throat achingly crying through every single ISPR production drama serial. From Nishan E Haider Series through Sunehray Din and Alpha Bravo Charlie. Back in high school I changed my earlier career choices literally based on the fact that I did not want to leave the country.
I grew up reading books that gave me the stories of 1965 war. Books I had to be careful flipping pages so they don’t come apart.
Preserving cassettes of wartime milli naghmay (anthems) some of which subsequently even got banned because of too direct abuse. I knew stories of the airforce on my fingertips by the time I was in my teens. Whether it was Cecil Chaudhry or MM Alam. I opted for the Women Guard / National Cadet Corps when it was unnecessary. I was literally in the last batch they ever trained before the program ended. I was proud to be somewhat military trained if my country ever needed me in combat. I’d be able to shoot a gun, provide first aid or at the very least, March impeccably though I still struggle to find value in that activity except preventing a stampede.
But then I grew up. In Pakistan. Through various regimes. Saw how the forces function and it started chipping away at my heart. The way they look down at “us civilians”. The fact that as non forces we are now mere second rate citizens in our own country because they come first. Whether it’s personal security, subsidised living or calling dibs on land by hook or literally by crook.
The PMA Kakul looking so pretty where it is, the Palaces in Bahawalpur or having the best beaches in Karachi reserved for the armed forces. It all speaks one language. Army is a league of their own. They are not a part of us. They claim to serve us yet they charge a heavy premium. They own our souls.
The shock was way too real. To understand that what I adored (and even pined to join and serve for many years) was not truly mine to love. There is a caste system in place and we have the short end of the stick.
They protect the borders but what happens within those borders is an empire of their own where no one else but them are protected.
Along came APS Peshawar killing. Where they stood vulnerable and all our collective hearts cried for them. For once they were treated like the rest of us. Not getting justice when we deserved it. Strangely it was even more heartbreaking than them having it all.
At least SOMEONE was living the good life in this country. Even the forces don’t get justice then who is this country for? Why are we here?
To further crush the poor or to increase luxury tax to sadistically see the rich cry out in despair?
What is Pakistan today and who is happy here? I want to know for real if those brainwashed at Kakulto obey orders and protect it till their dying day are also exposed to threats like APS shootings and no justice for years after, then what hope do the rest of us with our set of vulnerabilities and exposure to reality have? Exactly whose Pakistan is it? Yeh kis ka Pakistan hai?
Or is it like Zia’s regime when we would sing
Tera Pakistan hai
Na Mera Pakistan hai
Yeh Uss ka Pakistan hai
Jo Sadar e Pakistan hai