I have been raking my brain for a while as to how I should mark my 37th. It’s apparently such an uneventful birthday. An odd number. It’s not 35 but not even 40 yet but anyone who knows me for a day, knows how giddy I am with excitement about this one day of the year.
I love my birthday. I love being happy about it. I always have. Well. That’s a lie. It does remind me of my grandparents and I miss them terribly every single year. However that doesn’t take away from the fact that I enjoy growing older every year. As I grow nearer to my forties I’m more excited about my fifties.
As a friend recently said, Hareem, no one but you. You’re all alone in that.
I’d say why not? The most interesting people I know are beyond their fiftieth. Anyway. Long story. Personal preferences in life. Separate chain of thought altogether.
Here I am. Turned 37 thirty minutes ago
I was wondering, maybe I could create a bucket list of things I aspire to tick off before I hit 40? No compulsion to make 37 of these. I’ll stop when I’ll think I’ve run out of things I want to accomplish in the next three years. An array of unrelated things big and small, just to accomplish before the big Four-Oh.
I’ve done most of the clichéd list items like travel alone or live by myself or earn my own living/ financial independence, and run my own house for almost two decades now so this list will be more interesting than that.
Here goes!
ONE: Wean.
I don’t think my child will wean off any time soon. As long as I don’t have to give her frozen breasts milk for University I’m good. However next three years, gently wean her off of my boob juice and on to books maybe? She’s fantastic at multitasking with nursing and holding her books o her face so I don’t know if that’ll even work. Here’s to hoping.
TWO: Visit at least one New Country
For the last decade I’ve been planning the most exotic vacations only to end up in London year after year. Don’t blame me. London is gorgeous. I don’t regret it one bit but now I want to break that cycle a tad. Perhaps another country? One I haven’t been to yet? I have thee years to do this.
THREE: Grow my own flowers.
I don’t have a green thumb. Maybe I do. I’ve never wholeheartedly tried. In the next three years I want to grow enough flowers to be able to have a bunch of fresh flowers in my house every day. Just a simple thought and need I have in my heart.
FOUR: Get abs that I love.
I’ve never had well chiseled abs. I’ve never been a fitness freak so to speak. Next three years I need to lose my tyres and get some muscles going around. I just need a better body shape than blob. I love being a blob right now. Honestly I’m loving it now. Didn’t so much earlier. Somehow I feel more motherly. I must be nice and squishy for her. But yeah. Next three years, as Johnny Bravo said “Hot sexy mama!”
FIVE: Follow and adopt a food philosophy I love and that works for me.
Could be anything that works for me and my body. Just need to figure out and make those changes. 37 years are plenty to give me time to get to know my body. Just need to get on that bandwagon.
SIX: Laugh more
In the past 5-6 years I haven’t laughed as madly as I used to, at least once every day. My life is fantastic. However I haven’t ever been as busy as I am now. Also. Hurriyat has moved to the US and no one understands that good cackle better than she does. Frankly I don’t feel like laughing as madly with anyone else. Must change that. Even if it means Skype sessions at ungodly hours.
SEVEN: Plan on Planning business expansion.
In the next three years Sass will still only have turned five. That’s not a big kid. That’s still a child that’ll need a lot of attention from me and I want to keep giving it to her without it being a struggle. So. Realistic goals and no pushing on expansion soon no matter how hard the market tugs. My baby always comes first.
EIGHT: Care for my skin like a ninja. Grooming 101
The next three years essentially have to be about skincare. I’m just getting the hang of it and am loving it. So is my skin but I need for it to keep going. Being a tomboy’s firstborn, grooming was mostly self initiated in my life. I need to ensure I’m on top of this game before my own child gains the consciousness and needs to be exposed to the ways of caring for her physical self. I’m fine but I need to fine tune things I still get careless about. Basically need to resume my self care routine across the month that basically went out the window since I’ve had a baby. My schedule needs to come back.
NINE: More Sari. Less every other attire.
I just got myself two gorgeous ajrak saaris to kick off my 38th year of life. Needless to say, I want to wear Saari to lunches, dinners and brunches. Get into the groove of it. I give myself three years.
TEN: Embrace high waisted pants.
I know I said more Saari but a girl’s gotta have options. I haven’t quite allowed high waisted pants into my life. I think it’s time.
ELEVEN: Focus on feet.
All my life I have been known for my pretty feet. Past two years. CHAOS. I need to get back to caring for my feet some more. No questions.
TWELVE: Figure a good hairstyle and stick with it.
I’ve never had a signature style beyond my braid/ plait days. Which was pretty much my electoral insignia for years. I need to see what goes best with my face and then adopt it as a regular/ routine style. Either way this pony tail has got to go. Nothing has annoyed me as much.
THIRTEEN: Antiplastico
I’m already on the journey to reduce single use plastic in my life and household. I want to minimise it in the next three years. I feel particularly optimistic about it.
FOURTEEN: Feed a hungry passion.
I’m a multipotentialite through and through. There are so many things I am passionate about, it does my head in. I need to pick one and feed it to maturity. I need to get it out there in an organised fashion and really get into development. We need every single bit of humanitarianism we can get our hands on.
FIFTEEN: Be a better parent.
Despite the fact that I get lauded for doing a great job with Sassi, there is no such thing as a perfect parent. I’ve come a long long way from my strict physical/ personal space to a child climbing me like a rock wall while I’m on a conference call but I still feel I need to loosen up more. Goals for now. Let her mix her play doughs and allow more messy play. Need to work on this. I still can’t get my head around it and hyperventilate at the second a drop of water falls. I feel like a terrible parent and I need to fix this. Must let kiddle loose.
SIXTEEN: Get silk pillowcases.
Retire cotton from the pillowcase world.
SEVENTEEN: Start the Curly Girl Method on my own hair too.
Sassi is CG safe for almost three months now. I need to take the plunge myself but I’m way too much in love with all the fun shampoos I have hoarded. Will focus for now on not buying any more and eventually switching. Let’s do this.
EIGHTEEN: Resume Namaz
I need to get back on that bandwagon and I don’t want to give myself three years for that. I’m slacking and not liking it one bit. This is a very very personal goal.
NINETEEN: Learn how to make good flatlays and figure photographic lighting.
I hate halfhearted photography. With a flush showing in the background and badly composed pictures. Ugh. No. I need to crack the lighting. This needs to be fixed pronto in my life. Pictures are memories for me.
TWENTY: Figure out good shoes for myself.
I quite literally wear two to three pairs of shoes all year round and don’t own any formal ones. Well. I do own them but don’t like wearing them. Need to find my shoe spirit animal. This needs to change.
TWENTY-ONE: Stop kicking myself for not meeting people.
I think I’ve tried enough to not be antisocial. I’ve realised I am actually not exactly antisocial. I’m anti BS. I can’t deal with the lame ass conversations people call socialising so when I do find someone likeminded, I’m actually quite pleasant if I may say so myself. So here’s to putting a stop to guilt tripping myself into meeting unpleasant people. Nope. Sorry. Cancelled plans are still the best.
TWENTY-TWO: CLEAN OUT MY PHONE. And all other gadgets.
I have 23000 photos in my phone. You read that right. Twenty three thousand. I need to clean out my iCloud space instead of buying more. A major cyberspace decluttering is in order. I do give myself three years for this. Just being realistic about my procrastination
TWENTY-THREE: Create my own corner in the house.
I’ve always had a separate room. Always always had my own space and now I don’t. Within the next three years I want to slowly cultivate that corner in my living space. I feel that used to Centre me and helped me unwind. I know it’s a tad wishful with a toddler but a girl can dream.
TWENTY-FOUR: I want to learn how to cut hair.
At some point in time. Not interested in colour or makeup or anything else. I just want to learn how to give (myself or Sassi) a good quality haircut that grows with the hair.
TWENTY-FIVE: Not forget.
Moving back to Lahore has brought some faces back around me who have been less than kind to me in the past which made me drift away. Every now and then I get a pang of patching up with them. I need to resist being the idiot I’ve been all my life. I’ve forgiven them for their silly crap but here’s to not forgetting what they did. Don’t have space in my life for petty BS any more which doesn’t even come from me. Keep my life free of drama. Just the way I like it.
TWENTY-SIX: Get back to my embroidery.
It was one of my favourite pastimes. As a teenager in the late 1990s and early 2000s, it wasn’t the most hip thing to do yet I loved every bit of it. I need to get back to it.
TWENTY-SEVEN: I need to revive my Quilting
This is serious stuff. I used to do patchwork with my mum through my preteens and recently have been feeling severe pangs, missing it all. I need it back.
TWENTY- EIGHT: Sewing Machine
I need a fantastic, state of the art Sewing Machine of my own before I turn 40. No matter what faces my husband pulls on me. I just need a sewing machine of my own. Bas.
I’ll get a fantastic Paan Daan and keep it stocked to entice him. I get a paandaan and bring paan culture to his house (easy peasy for me. I grew up around paan), he might get me a sewing machine.
TWENTY-NINE: Compile my heirloom of a cookbook.
Whatever I’ve figured out form my grandparents’ arsenal, whichever recipes I’ve tried, tested and perfected. I need to start compiling them for Sass. Even if she hates cooking when she grows up, at the very least recipes I write down will always be one thing. Entertaining AF.
THIRTY: Get ankles.
Okay here’s the deal. All my life I have seen my calves magically turn into feet. I need ankles before I turn 40. I might or might not achieve this but I need prettier legs and the existence of ankles instead of cankles. Enough!
THIRTY-ONE: Yes it has come down to The cliched Weight Loss
I want to lose 25 kg. To reach a weight I actually enjoy my body at. It’s a tall order but yes. I want to get there. I’m tired of lugging around this body my bones were definitely not made to carry around. I want my old self back as soon as my little kiddle is done with her cuddling age. For now it’s alright but next three years. Need to fix this. Need to feel comfortable breathing again. Hate this feeling unwell all the time.
THIRTY-TWO: Eliminate Sugar out of my life.
Like end it. I feel that the feel good factor of sugar is slowly turning into an addiction and it doesn’t even make me feel good. Just sickly and bloated. Instead of a want it is becoming a need and I don’t like having needs. It reeks of reliance and I can’t be dependent on anything. So baby you gotta go.
THIRTY-THREE: I need to write more
I feel like a broken record but I need to actually set aside time every day just to write. Nothing makes me feel better and I am my most productive when I write. Not blogs. Not tiny vents. Rants. Or lists. Need to properly write.
THIRTY-FOUR: Fixing my sleep cycle.
Baby guess what. You are not 13 any more. Before the symptoms and issues start raising their ugly what’s I need to get a grip and stop working through the nights. I need to start putting my own health ahead of everything else. No more pride in insomnia and productivity at night. Need to consciously cut down on late nights and all nighters. Like right now. I just haven’t slept all night. And that’s just sad. It’s my birthday.
THIRTY-FIVE: Preservation.
Collecting little tidbits from my grandparents, compiling them, getting things framed. Basically saving them whatever way they need to be preserved.
THIRTY-SIX: Get back to my Books.
The first babies I’ve had. This new one has made me skip them altogether. In the next three years I want to get back to being as crazy a reader as I always was . I actually miss my reading time in my soul. soul hurts rapping in a broken voice!
THIRTY-SEVEN: Make a list of all Subscriptions. Paid and Newsletters.
Last but not the least this is a gargantuan task. I need to have a list of my regular subscriptions so I can make valid decisions about them that which ones I want to keep and which to toss. My emails are a circus.
What do you know. I actually managed 37 of these. * does the cauldron stirrer dance*
For now this is it. I just need to make sure I get most of these done if not all in the next three years.
