This past Tuesday this is what I WhatsApped my husband.
It’s true. I can’t take the pace of this growing up business. It’s too much for my weak heart.
She is quite literally doubling if not tripling not only her vocabulary but also her sentence construction and understanding on a DAILY basis.
The Eid week she held my face and said “Ayesha. Gari. Chalo!” (Ayesha. Car. Let’s Go)
I didn’t even wait for F to send me the car which would reach em in less than 20 minutes. I booked a Careem and just took her to my parents where my sister was visiting for the week.
My heart just bursts on an hourly basis nowadays.
If she asks for something and I ask where should I get it form, she will sometimes actually say with an impish grin “Andar se” (from inside). The little mutt KNOWS I hide things from her.
As much as my heart (now, for the first time in two years) wants her to slow down and be a baby for a little longer,
a) it’s not happening
b) It shouldn’t happen
I wasn’t a baby lover when my child was born. I used to be years ago and that too not EVERY baby, I was always picky about it (sorry mums, whose babies I’ve ignored in a past life). Always being able to connect more to preteens and teenagers, I had no clue what to do with a baby when S was born. I had never seen a newborn before her (which is a lie, I did see one ONCE but I try forgetting about him. That’s a trauma I’ll write about another time) and most certainly was waiting for her to grow into this coherent stage.
I couldn’t understand when everyone used to say oh you’ll miss this stage when she’s a baby. I would go NO. I won’t miss the sleepless nights and a baby I’m petrified I’ll somehow break. NO. I need the unbreakable stage (Though just having watched Neerja last night I don’t think your child so ever unbreakable and neither is your heart that is constantly connected to them. Super Emo. I know.). Somehow I would always feel that I’m enjoying every single stage of hers so far and even though I love her at each of those stages, at any given time, the PRESENT was my most favourite. Even if not, I never MISSED missed an earlier stage despite treasuring it. You know, organically focusing on moving forward and loving her through all her steps.
It is THIS stage that I am clawing on to though, where she would call it Labboo instead of Laddoo (a sweat meat). I don’t WANT her to say Laddoo yet.
I couldn’t help but upload this one.
And then my victory at convincing her to say it once!
I will miss THIS.
