It had been over three months that my three year old and I even sat in the car.
My husband would sporadically step out for essentials with extreme precautions for no longer than 20 minutes.
We ended up ordering food from a place that didn’t offer delivery so we took the plunge. Wanted to take Sassi out for a drive (safe. Within the car) for a few days. Today was it
The second I told her we are going out she collected her favourite toys and came running ready to step out.
Given that it was a Sunday most places were closed anyway, I’m sure that’s not the case on weekdays but gave me a glimpse of what a lockdown might look like.
It’s not easy. Seeing your city like a ghost town.
Or knowing more than 3 million people in your country have lost their livelihoods.
You know what else isn’t easy?
Knowing that over 670,000 people are infected within your city only.
That even if we don’t “like” that figure, the official (and extremely skewed) number of infected cases across the country have crossed 100,000 and we are still nowhere near the peak.
What else is unbearable is that all of this was avoidable. We opened up the markets and lifted the lockdown for Eid. Here. Have a confirmation that your loved ones might not live to see another Eid.
My child has been battling depression on days where she would go limp and not want to lift a finger and we are exhausted with coming up with ideas to keep her entertained / engaged. She would wake up crying “Mujhe kisi ke ghar jaana hai” (I want to go to someone’s house”
Or entertainment includes planning for what all we will do once “things open up”. Not by the government of course. Had we gone by those standards we would probably be dead or sick ready to die. But when it is actually safe to step out.
Things may not return to what we termed as normal for a very long time.
It’s not easy for anyone. It isn’t supposed to be easy for anyone. These are difficult times and the entire spiel of toxic positivity that pushes you to only see the positives in a scenario might even be overbearing on your nerves.
Sometimes it’s also okay to accept things as a crappy situation we are stuck in.
Which exactly it is.
This year so far has been crappy so let’s call it that.
Isolation is crappy for most. Let’s call it that.
Children are difficult to manage including their mental health. Let’s call it that.
Let us embrace the grief of isolation for it is real and glaring. Don’t try to bury it under the million courses you want to do or the fifteen dishes you are cooking every day.
Be good to yourself.
And hug your child while they cry, kicking and screaming, at being carried back inside from a car after a ride around town .
Instead of telling them to stop crying, tell them you understand why they are crying and agree with them.
Because don’t we?