May 31- 05:29AM
I need to record these emotions because I’ve never felt this heartbroken and I’ve had my fair share of them in life. I promise.
Whoever tells you breastfeeding is tough, tell them. Ain’t got crap on weaning because this mama is on half mast for nearly a month and things are cracking now.
Last month when she started spacing out the whatever leftover night time nursing sessions, it was an “Awww” moment. Three years was a nice fulfilling breastfeeding journey. We were both ready for this.
What I didn’t realise was I stopped sleeping through the night at all. Like altogether. Ramzan supported the cause too but as a result I am up all night long. I was moody, a little rage-y a little weepy but nothing out of control.
This morning though. Two days shy of my period being due. Ladies. All hell is breaking lose.
I am feeling the heartache I felt when my teen crush got engaged (I was a teen. He wasn’t). Like there’s a boulder on my heart and it is going nowhere fast, y’all.
I’ve picked my sleeping child in my lap and hugged her, silently ugly cried around 3 times in the past hour.
For those who don’t know, I had Postpartum depression that lasted a full two years complete with hallucinations and the works. I also have only one ovary. That’s congenital. Apparently.
I’ve always joked about my super punctual periods and the fact how my single ovary is a workaholic and works double shift. Little did we know she’s doing the same with pretty much every function linked to the reproductive system.
This weaning business is busting my derrière and this Mama is constantly sliding down that flag pole and ain’t nothing sexy about it despite being chock full of innuendos.
